Friday, February 6, 2009

A Love so Tender

Those who have not yet read the last book of the Potter series should not go through this write-up either. This contains a spoiler – a wonderfully pleasant surprise; but a spoiler nonetheless. Those who do not care for Harry's feats would do well to skip this as well, for it would make little or no sense to them.
But the obsessed fans who have read every line of the book thrice over will understand as soon as the conversation points to Severus Snape. My friend and I spent three hours straight just discussing this character from all angles, and we are still to come to terms with the latest revelations concerning him.
Severus Snape, since his very introduction, is a character that every reader views with the deepest hatred and loathing. He is nothing much to look at, with his greasy hair, hooked nose and cold black eyes. His unfairness and cruelty surpass his ugliness – on their first meeting, he deliberately humiliates Harry. As the potions master, his willfulness knows no bounds: right from needlessly berating clever Hermione; handing out detentions galore to students of other houses and favoring his own; threatening to poison them and taking away their privileges at the slightest chance.
His hatred of Harry makes the latter begin to have a fear for the very subject that he teaches. Their personal relations keep deteriorating, as Snape seems to take so much pleasure in torturing Harry. As the stories of the legendary rivalry between Snape and Harry's father come to light, we begin to understand Snape's aversion to the younger, popular version of his enemy. But there is no limit to Snape's ruthlessness and sadistic tendencies – as soon as a wicked smile begins to lurk in his face, it bodes trouble.
The childish enmity turns into full fledged battle in the sixth book, when Harry learns that it was Snape who sold his parents to the evil dark Lord Voldemort. Even after that crime, the beloved headmaster Dumbledore offers him a second chance and allows his to work as a spy for their side. As the omnipotent Dumbledore trusts him, we grudgingly agree that there might be a chunk of goodness within this monster. But no. In a seemingly unforgivable act of double-crossing, Snape mercilessly murders Dumbledore and scampers off to the veil side, a tainted and besmirched individual. I know how many readers would have loved to get their hands on him; I would have been right at front.
In the seventh book, Snape's atrocities increase. He not only takes over as a tyrannical headmaster; but also curses off the ear of a much-loved character. Our repulsion rises thousand fold and we long for him to be dead until he abruptly dies – confessing such secrets to Harry that in one instant, he claims his position as the hero of the pack.
And here lies the skill of the marvelous author. Until the very end, she does not give out even a subtle hint about the sacrifice of Snape. We learn that he has, in fact, been striving to protect Harry since sixteen years, as a token of his unrequited love to Harry's mother. With not a care for personal safety, he dares to fool even the sinister Lord Vodlemort while remaining faithful to Dumbledore – and killing him on his own orders.
This revelation is so amazingly crafted, so well-hidden: it is unquestionably the most beautiful romance in the book. The efforts of an impoverished, clever boy who cares deeply and unconditionally for one girl all his life and dies to keep her son safe bring about a tremendous wave up sympathy. It is touching beyond explanation.
I was truly ashamed for my earlier negative vibes – in retrospect, every meanness of Snape is overshadowed by his greatness. And when Harry names his son Severus after the brave personality, it is a fitting honor. For a magnificently conceived and executed character that disguises a love so tender.

You, you and only you

See what a state you have made me fall into
I pine (exquisite word) for true
the clock inches to midnight
yet I have nothing to do.
You, you and only you.

Depressed every phase of the day
I want to forget you
(Really, really I do).
And yet how long can I lie
I never want to declare good bye.

I know it is total fantasy from my part
to crave for miniscule love from your heart.
It is impossible now,
you enlighten me straightaway
Well, be that as it may –

I will live just as I am
Because a girl loves but once
Now that I have had my chance
I am done, you understand –
my one and only man!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thousands of Splendid Words

While I was reading Khaled Hosseini's first (and acclaimed) novel The Kite Runner, the very title of his second work had struck me as poetic - A Thousand Splendid Suns. It conjured up visions of lush palm trees basking under the brightness of fabulously slanting sunrays. I briefly mused on this, added this book to the 'must read' list on my mind, and promptly forgot all about it.
Memories of the alluring title were stirred up when Sudin asked me which book I wanted as a gift. When I declined to name one, he threatened to send me a book of his choice, hinting (not so subtly) that it could be one I had already read. So I made an easy decision, he faithfully dispatched it and soon the novel with an intriguing jacket of a veiled girl-woman in oversized heels reached me.

Personally, reading it proved to me even more intriguing than the first one. Perhaps because this one is so much involved with women - their wretched existence, the unspeakable trials, the flimsy bleak interludes they come to regard as happiness. Hosseini has definitely written about the pains of women as though he has undergone them - he has become much more confident of his expressions and the words just seem to obey his command. When he describes Mariam's lengthy face or the hut where she spends her childhood, we immediately understand what he means to say - he has the ability of building a vivid, animated picture.

The plot itself is simple and credible - yet not ordinary. It begins at the point where the illegitimate Mariam longs to enter her sweet-talking, cowardly father's upper-class world even though constantly rebuffed by her epileptic mother. Her childish desire to watch Pinnochio in her father's theatre overwhelms her and she runs away to his palatial home, soon to find that she is left with neither her mother nor her father as she had idolized him. Coerced into marriage with a much older shoemaker, her troubled life takes a slightly better turn. That is until she is stricken with one miscarriage after another, her husband turning more brutal with the loss of each son he pines for. His cruelty can be felt when he forced Mariam to chew a handful of pebbles until her molars crack apart. It is almost too agonizing to read these words chiseled together so sensitively.

Soon after this enters the earlier introduced character of Laila, who knows no world except her protective, encouraging one and no love except Tariq, her passionate one-legged savior. The rest of the tale is taken up with the opposing, and later complimentary relation between the two women - each day spent is a misery, each search for freedom leads to a backward shove, each struggle for happiness leads to a dead end.

The writer is an expert at touching hearts and opening minds. He puts before us situations so inhuman that we become thankful even for every unhindered breath we take. His technique of meshing the local language with English is quite endearing - as is his clever manner of knitting in open secrets and shocking revelations in between. He has also included a lot of political background, which makes it all the more easier to understand the scenario. This in turn makes the work substantial and concrete, as though tragedies of such magnitude actually befell our fellow-sisters far away when we were busy squabbling over which dress t wear to a party.

Even amidst all my admiration, I must say something - this book is an extremely glooming one. It has the power to haunt one with its pathetic images and the sheer hopelessness of human life. It leaves you suffocated, perhaps even depressed. Even the romantic angle, with all its tenderness, is heart-wrenching. And yet out of all those broken shards, devastation, filthy truths and pessimism, Hosseini allows room for a miniscule amount of joy and cheer at the end - leaving us with an impression, as the poet Saeb-e-Tabrizi would say, of a thousand splendid suns.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

wHaT i LoVe AboUt...

aBhA (mUnU) : she's cool.. and great to talk to.. and her compliments...


aMaN : Friendliness, simplicity, spontaneity...



aMbIkA : Depth of his feelings... how much he cares in his subtle/unassuming way.. his messages and self-created shayaris



aMiR (bUnNy/B): everything... he doesn't ask questions, accepts u for what u are, knows how to make everyone feel special, writes such wonderful n funny mails, is always warm n kind.. And most of all the fact that he knows how to really respect the female kind... You could let go blindly and he will never let u fall... I like being called chornee... and prinCipessa



aNiTa : her hair first of all... the easy chats


aNu : the sudden smile

bAlRaM (bAlU) : How he treats me like a child... and takes care of me even when hes not around



bInA : the chilled-out life.. her hair.. her eyes... the talks late into the night



cHaNdA : the humour lurking behing the innocent face


cHetAnA : spunk


dEv RaJ (dEbU) : the never-say-die attitude.. his eyes... smile... n the way he flirts without seeming to.. oh, and also the nickname of angel


dEePeSh : laid back attitude


dInEsH : his vision of life

dIj BhEnA : hes so absolutely perfect for my sister!

dUrGa : i can meet her after years and the spark between us is still the same... puts everyone instantly at ease with her laughter..

eNa (eNe) : She was the first friend I loved and wanted with such ferocity... She is everything that a 'friend' is supposed to be.. i love her ability to love... i love her home...

hElInA : her eyes.. with kohl tipped to the end


hImAl : eyes to toes


hRiDaY : he knows so much about everybody.. we can gossip the whole time


jAy Da : he's really, really funny


jYoTi D : who can help loving her? From her manner of endearing herself to one and all.. to her smile.. to her sweet sweet nature...


kAiLaSh : sincerity..

kAkA : the best brother in the universe...


kIsHoR : his wacky beard.. haha...

lAlIt : He's cool headed.. and unfailingly indulgent to me..he makes my problems just melt away...

lAxMi (BiBhUtI) : for calling me sweety :-)

lUnA d : she has always been there to talk with, laugh with, patao and udao.. her hair.. her eyes... her smile..

mAdHu (MaDdY) : He is a really really really NICE guy... He is the one anyone (including me) could totally trust...

mAdAn (NaDaMiLo) : Again, a GOOD guy... Dependable, helpful, attentive.. someone out there (whom i love the most) is really lucky ;-)

mAhEsH : his eyes, first of all.. his attitude... and how he has been a friend throughout

mAnInA (mAnNe) : For being my truest childhood buddy... the way she dots messages with 'love u's and 'miss u's she melts my heart every time.. always loving..

nArAyAn (NaAn) : he actually looks after all of us... is really caring towards his core group... and he tells us such interesting things each time...

nArEsH : For forgiving me even when I break my 100th promise.. and not even holding a grudge.. hes really really easy to talk to.. I could spend the whole day without getting bored.. hes always so good to me

nIrMaLa : god those dimples...

nIsHa (nIsHe) : for her cuteness, her vitality, for being the same all these years.. the adorable little friend

nRiBeSh : I even like his taciturn nature.. haha... he's easy to talk to.. we always end up talking about the school days

pArIsHkRiT (pArIs) : He is to me the best friend there can ever be... friend philosopher guide confidant... his sense of humor... his ability to make me laugh every single time... for me there is never another like him...

pRaBhA d : what i love about her is arpit... if I had a son like that I would never again pray for a daughter.. i swear...

pRaGyA d : Her hair... wow... her loving manner towards one and all.. the innocence..

pRaShAnT (pIcKlE) : i owe a whole lot to him.. a lot lot lot... for always staying by my side even when i was so nasty... for loving me in his inimitable manner.. for showing me that there is something like selfless adoration... and i also love his style... how everything looks good on him...

pRaTiK : Another favorite cousin.. shes so loving u just fall in love with her.. always the same funny, sweet, caring person..

pRaTiGyA (pAtTu) : Oh she is our jaaaaan! Her bubbly nature, the way she just brightens up the whole room... her smile.. her infectious laughter.. the gestures.. her hair and eyes... our gang wouldn't be the same without her


pRaZwOl (PrAz) : for being the madcap, completely unpredictable, cool brother that he is!

rAcHaNa (RaChU) : her hair... her cakes (yummy!) any dish, actually... and the warmth that goes with everything

rAjNeEsH : always cool...

rAjuLa : the warmth of her home

rAm (ExAmPlE) : his sense of humor, his choice of words (duniya diwana, waisai), his expressions, the way he says keti and lati and vuja

rObIn : his calmness.. the funny messages... and the books, of course :-)

rOhIt : his goofy nature... and how he honored me by comparing me to his aunt..

rOsHaNi (RoShI) : for being the BEST friend in this world... absolutely no comparison with anyone... her LARGE heart... her ENDLESS love.. for staying with me when i was down and sharing my joys.. for just being the LIGHT of my life

rUbY : her innocence

rUcHi : what can i say about her... her carefree life.. her devil-may-care attitude.. her zest for life.. her overflowing love and warmth for all..

rUpAk (SiLlKy) : he's really sweet (shona)... and the nickname currly is nice... hes so polite to everyone... and the way he talks, words toppling over each other..

sAbINa D : for being the kindest, most caring and warm sister there can be..

sEwA (sAbBo) : for keeping me close in good times and bad / for cheering me up when i feel sad / for her hair... and her smile / for being the best sister every single while...

sAlMa (SaLU) : her innocence... her charm... her eyes.. the warmth beneath that reserve

sAmAnA (sAmU) : her hair... wow... and her eyes... lets not get so descriptive on the other things.. and her simplicity

sAmBrIdHi (SaMrI) : she's really warm...

sAnToSh : the simplicity, again..

sArAsWoTi (SaRu) : her eyes, they are the original brandy color... her smiles n jokes..

sAUrAv (PaNdA) : love. passion. devotion. emotion. possession. obsession. want. need. commitment. care. eyes. heart.

sHaIlI : for being so simply sweet and warm and funny

sHaRaD (sHaRdUl) : he's funny when he wants to be.. and helpful..

sHaUrAv (DuDe) : he's really cool... and he takes care of all of us

sHiVa : his uniqueness... his world.. and how sweet he can be when he wants to

sHoViTa : her smile first of all.. her all-encompassing frendiless... her diction..

sHrEeJa (MaYaLu) : she loves me more than is possible... she is kind and warm to each and every person.. i want her all to myself all my life.. when i was down in the dumps she lifted me up.. thinking of her makes life worthwhile.. no words to describe her..

sHrIsTi : her loyalty, her smile, how her love is the same after all these years... her way of saying 'kicchak'

sHyAmA : the practicality... her warm, easy going nature..

sMiTa D : for her generosity, our easy/interesting conversations, her care, her appreciation

sUbHadRa : she knows what she wants...

sUdAn : now this one is funny... for resembling another of my favorite persons :-)

sUdIn (aBsY/cUpId) : his chilled out life... for his sweetness and his ability to make everyone at ease

sUjAtA (sUjA) : she's really pretty... plus her childishness...

sUrEsH (pRaNjAl) : he's always nice to me... unfailingly...

sUrEnDrA : his shyness, his sincerity...

sUrYaMa : she's a darling! if she loves you, she loves u no holds barred!

sUsHaNt (SoS) : he's really cute... :-) and when he lets his care slip into sentences u even forget his offhandedness

uDaY : for being so indulgent to me

uMa : her unconventional looks... her friendliness

uShA : for keeping in touch even when i may have forgotten.. for her remembrance

uZwOl : hmm... for regarding me more highly than anyone has ever done.. for knowing how to make everyone feel good.. for his magic, his super interesting talks, for his respect.. and of course uree.

vIsHaL : he's sporting... n funny when he wants to be

yUbArAj (IbU) : for all the good times we had.. for being the same whenever we meet

yUbArAj Bhena (YuB) : he's so knowlegable.. and funny.. and so genuinely in love.. qualities i love...











Friday, September 26, 2008

Which song/quote/saying/myth do you believe in?


Love...

(a) is all we need.
(b) is one big illusion.
(c) will keep us alive.
(d) makes the world go round.
(e) is a fool's paradise.

Monday, September 22, 2008

syndromes... suffering...

Have you ever been inflicted by the

LOVE him

but can't LIVE with him

so have to LEAVE him syndrome?



Must have... People everywhere seem to go through their lives with his one...



1. You wait for his call. Don't lie, you do! And when he calls, you can't talk two minutes without fighting. You promise yourself next time you will keep cool and you lose th ebet. You can't bear to make him unhappy, but u invariably do.


2. Ditto with mail. Your heart pounds when u see inbox(5) and yet u don't want to open the mail and see what lies within.. It gets too much.. Because there he will be pouring his heart out and you will feel heartless because you can't find anything to say!

3. You know he loves you, more than anyone else possibly can. You feel it all the time. And yet there is one habit of his you know you just can't tolerate for a lifetime - posessiveness, self-centeredness, recklessness, don juan tactics, anger...

4. You watch a touching ad, listen to his favorite song, read all the letters stacked 2*2 in your cupboard... and the tears flow down. You just want to say "I'm sorry." And yet the sinking feeling tells you nothing can ever be the same again. Its much too late to start. If you dare to plunge into it against your guts, wou will return to this same phase six months later...

5. You want him to be happy. Always.. In every condition.. Often he doesn't understand that. It's okay... he feels you dont understand him either. And it's okay to feel guilty and sad...

6. You say you are alone. Single. Free. So why do you feel committed? Why are you so vehemently disinterested in anyone else? You are so certain that you will never be happy in life again... probably you won't. That is your punishment for flinging away the chance that life gave you.

7. Whatever you say, why does it still feel inadequate?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Small Wonder

I do not even remember when I was so enthused to watch a Nepali movie. But this time there were a combination of reasons - maybe it was because my gang thinks Alok Nembang directs the coolest videos; perhaps because Namrata has always been associated with innocent elegance; or most likely it was just Karma peeking out adorable from the fresh-looking, stylish posters - I just felt I had to watch Sano Sansar as soon as it released.
A lot more people apparently felt the same, there was a huge crowd in front of the theatre glumly discussing the unavailability of tickets. We thanked our stars that we had had the foresight to purchase tickets the earlier day - and settled down for what we hoped would surprise us pleasantly. And it really did. It lived up to our expectations.
There is nothing new about the story. But then, every romantic movie follows the same pattern : boy meets girl meets complication meets resolution. What is different is its simple, natural, believable approach to the situtaions. The story in short would be like this - a loner, essentially a good boy, is placed in an awkward position where every good act of his is misconstrued by the girl he is supposed to help. The girl is apparently depressed because she has lost her trust and interest in the world due to a suave but slightly seedy boyfriend. On top of that, the boy and girl are great chat friends but have an awry relation in real life. So there are twists and turns and lots of overflowing emotions before we reach our desired end. And I will say this for the movie - the story may not be the most original one, but it has not been copied out of anything either - except maybe a teeny bit of My Sassy Girl.
The best part about the movie is its presentation. It does not give out a lofty message or even claim to be the first, the best, the different, or whatever. It just unfolds itself leisurely; with absolutely no insane fights in Chobhar, songs with a hundred background dancers shot in Pokhara, or unnecessary melodrama meted out by women dripping in jewelry. The people are very real - they go to college, hang out with friends, amble around (maybe the reference to Java is sponsored). They have regular expectations, frustrations, way of life. What I mean is, we identify with many of them. We are either like them or else we certainly know someone similar. I would also like to make a special note about the dress designer - it is amazing what the correct kind of apparel add to the movie. The female actor dons cute skirts that we could wear any day, and the males are dressed up exactly according to character - whether in well-cut suits, flowery and garish shirts, or casual khakis with a unisex vest. And then the songs are pure pleasure for the ears, the dance number is tastefully choreographed, and they are interwoven perfectly.
Of course there are loopholes galore. The tale is quite patchy in places - it just skims over the surface. We are not explained about some circumstances, or the past. We do not know why the girl patches up briefly with the overconfident guy, where her alcoholism disappears, why there is so much confusion all around. Some characters are definitely underdeveloped, so we cannot make out their personalities. And the character of the girl's father, though significant, is greatly overdone.
And yet, even with these flaws, it is the entertainer it sets out to be. This was evident in the manner the audience seemed to thoroughly enjoyed every scene, judging from the appreciative giggles and claps. The flamboyant character of Jeevan Luitel deserves a mention, he brought the house down with his hilarious lines,. In fact, most of the dialogues are witty and the kind we speak everyday, not anything highbrow.
There is no denying that some of them lean towards the risqué and awkward, but others are truly funny, including the one about a guy being gay. The characters fit well into their roles, though the one to take away your heart is definitely Karma with his Buddha-like eyes and Afro hairstyle. And one thing I seriously did not get is why he is termed unattractive, to me he looks most attractive.
So, in the end, it is revealed to us how it is possible to shoot a visually and aesthetically brilliant movie in the well worn by lanes of Kathmandu. I can only say that if Nepali movies began following this trend, I would not miss another one.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

It all began here...

Almost 1 a.m. and still awake...
No big surprise... Am a regular owl. With glasses, brains and a nocturnal way of life.
Was chatting with some frens. That is the only way I connect to people who have left me to seek their fortunes. Talked to Saurav, Ruchi, Rohit, Narayan. The usual gossip - new, old, what's wrong, what's hot, do u love me, do i care for u, do we miss each other...
Am still chatting with Uzwol the bright.
Usual day. Hectic thoughts. too much stress on my delicate mind lol.